Could It All Be a Hoax?

Over the past week, I've started to wonder--as many of you might have--if this whole pregnancy is some cruel hoax.

A few of the more reasonable people in my life have tried to remind me of the simple facts:

1. I, and other witnesses, have repeatedly heard a heartbeat in my massively swollen belly.
2. There is frequent, spastic, and painful movement in said belly.
3. A fully accredited doctor seems convinced a baby is in there and will be coming out.

BUT--call me crazy . . .  or perhaps sleep-deprived and miserable. . . I've seriously begun to wonder.  Do you think maybe there's a puppy in there instead?  Or an elephant?  Elephants have a gestational period of 22 months, you know.

Or is it possible I'm not pregnant at all and have a raging, other-worldly tumor which can mimic a human heartbeat?

Between the constant self-anticipation and the overwhelming number of people asking if he's here yet, I may check myself into a facility for the mentally insane.  Or maybe I'll just go ahead and hope for a puppy.  They're cute.