In Case of an Emergency . . .

Lately, I've been contemplating elevators.  I've seen a lot of movies, a lot of movies with various people climbing in to or out of elevator escape hatches.  (See below for prime example.)

So this morning, I'm in in an elevator, and I look up . . . as I have been prone to do lately.  And you know what?

Once again, there's no escape hatch waiting for me to (1) casually push open and (2) miraculously hoist my plump-mom-body through.

I've found this is true in elevators across the city.  There's decorative ceilings, lighted ceilings, weirdly padded ceilings . . . all kinds.  But none of them have an obvious, movie-tested panel that suggests "escape hatch here."

So how am I supposed to escape from a madman or, perhaps more realistically, escape from a pack of gun-toting law enforcers who are pursuing me because I've been framed for a crime I did not commit and my only chance for redemption is to get away and find the proof, thereby restoring myself to hero status?

I've wasted time--time that probably should've been spent downstairs in the workshop--doing a little research this afternoon and don't feel any better about my chances for escape.  However, I did find this helpful tip:  Avoid jumping up and down to get the elevator to move. This won't help you escape and, if there are other passengers with you, it may make them uncomfortable. 

Advice to live by.